Day 6...oh..ow..eew..blah...

Well, last night i was successful in beating my cravings and staying on track. it was a tough night though, really. i'm getting ready to start my period, and i wanted to eat everything, without mercy. i've noticed i really do hate the discipline part of this...the control. that nagging little fat part of me that wants chocolate keeps wishing i could just do what i want, and not pay so much attention, and just not care...but i do. and when i start thinking about how bad i want french fries and ice cream and chips and stuff...then i start thinking about how bad i want to back up in pants sizes, and how bad i want to look good in pictures, how bad i want to feel good about myself and buy whatever clothes off whatever rack i want to!


it doesn't make it easy, but it makes it possible. i'm freaking worn out though. i worked last night, all night...then this morning...and i'm emotional...shew..everytime my headset beeped i wanted to throw it, and fall to the floor, and just sit there and scream and cry...oh shit it was awful! i would have been okay if everyone saw my tantrum, i would have been okay if i got fired, i looked for reasons to walk out the door...it was just bad.


anyway, since i am getting ready to start my period, i have decided not to weight myself this week. it sucks because it's my first week and i want to see those results...but it is a widely known fact that when you start your period, you gain a few pounds of water weight. i don't want to get on the scale and get discouraged. so i'm gonna wait until i'll know exactly what i've lost. looks like my first weigh in will be at week 2. like i said, i've taken a before picture...and there will be an after. i was thinking about making a photo album of every week...eh...we'll see. i'd rather not have anyone see the before picture....until there is an after haha. ok, well...that's it for now.